Know yourself before entering a relationship
Identify and connect to your own needs and desires. A disconnection from yourself will contribute to difficulty in connecting to your partner.After all, if we do not best understand ourselves, how we can understand our partner and expect our partner to understand us?!
Additionally, a strong sense of self for both you and your partner, or individuality within the relationship, will support the creation of interdependency (healthy dependency on your partner, one by which you can continue to be independent) rather than co-dependency (over-reliance on partner).
Social Media vs. Reality
Differentiate between falling in love with the idea of someone vs. falling in love with who the person really is. Online dating has become an extremely popular platform as a way for singles to connect to others.Particularly with online dating, a false sense of intimacy can be created, as we are not physically connecting with a partner and getting to know them for who they truly are; it is easy to paint a picture of someone being “perfect” and “checking off all of the boxes” based on an online profile and text threads.
Be patient and allow yourself time to get to know the person for who they truly are – unedited photos and conversations that occur in real time (without having the ability to think about crafting a text message) will support you in determining compatibility.
Maintain your routine
Participate in your normal activities and complete your daily responsibilities.When engaging in a relationship, it is beneficial when your partner understands and accepts that you have current obligations and interests – these events contribute to your sense of self and individuality.
Engage in acts of self-care
Prioritise your own needs and intentionally engage in activities to take care of your mental, emotional and physical health. Identify activities that bring you joy and incorporate those into your daily routine.Value the opinions of friends and family
Acknowledge that it is easy to “wear blinders” when falling in love and perhaps not clearly see any potential red flags in your partner or the relationship.Accept feedback and opinions from those in your life who you value and trust.
Although it may be difficult to hear such feedback, recognise that your friends and family are sharing their observations with your best interests in mind.
Determine priorities
Define what is important to you in a relationship and communicate those needs openly and honestly. it is important to evaluate how the relationship can move forward should you and your partner’s needs not be in alignment or if you cannot come to a mutual understanding or agreement.
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